When Life Isn't Fair
My boys were playing a board game one rainy afternoon. It was down to the last spin. One of my sons got the number he hoped for and crossed the finish line, winning the game. The loser stomped his feet and declared, "That's not fair! He always wins!"
My boys are not alone in their view of life. I often look at the circumstances of my life, my failed dreams, struggles, and trials, and think, "It's not fair." I look at the successes of others, their achievements, adventures, and lifestyle and think, "Why them and not me?" And I wonder, why do some people seem to always win and I always lose?
God rules over everything.
I told my son when he lost the game that God intended it for a reason. I reminded him that God rules over everything, even a spinner on a game and he now had an opportunity to learn something from the loss. I also reminded him that by focusing on his loss, he missed an opportunity to rejoice with his brother and encourage him for his win.
Good advice for my own heart, wouldn't you say?
My kids often say that life isn't fair. I've told them that if life really were fair, we'd all get what we deserve—eternal death and separation from God. In fact, we don't deserve a single thing, neither life or breath or anything else. Yet God continues to let the rains come down on both the just and unjust (Matt. 5:45). He gives mercy each new morning (Lam. 3:23). He strengthens the weary and gives peace to the anxious (Isa. 40:29; Phil. 4:7).
Through his grace God will complete the work he began in us.
But most importantly, God gives grace. "And from his fullness we have all received grace upon grace" (John 1:16). It is by grace that our hearts are brought from death to life (Eph. 2, Ezek. 11). It is by grace that we are saved, secured and sanctified (Eph. 2:8). And through his grace, God will complete the work he began in us.
The truth is, if God treated me as I deserve, I wouldn't have a relationship with him. If God treated me fairly, he wouldn't spend so much time refining me. If God treated me based on what I earned, I would be hopeless and lost. But as the Psalmist penned, "He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities" (Ps. 103:10). Because of God's grace for me in Christ, I have a relationship with the Creator of the universe. My Maker and Creator knows me and I know him. I can come before the throne of grace and receive help in my time of need. And nothing can separate me from God's love.
I don't deserve God's love, but he lavishes it upon me—what wonder!
The prose God is writing in the lives of believers is for their good and his glory.
When it comes to what God does in the lives of others and how he chooses to bless them, I have to remember that everyone has their own story. The prose God is writing in my life is for my good and his glory (Rom. 8:28). He is using the circumstances, challenges, and failures in my life to transform me to be more and more like Christ. My story is different from others and I can't compare it. The individual chapters of my life may seem painful and feel unfair, but woven together they form a beautiful tapestry of God's grace at work in my life. In fact, my story is included in the grand story of redemption, alongside the stories of my brothers and sisters in Christ. Rather than look at their stories in envy, I ought to rejoice at what God has done to unite our stories together.
It's true, life is unfair. But I wouldn't have it any other way. How about you?
Christina Fox is a speaker, editor, writer, blogger, and author of several books including A Heart Set Free: A Journey to Hope Through the Psalms of Lament and Closer Than a Sister: How Union with Christ Helps Friendships to Flourish. You can find her at www.christinafox.com.
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