Finding a New Church After Moving—and Growing in the Process
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After many years of consideration and a year of intense planning, my husband and I decided to move our family of five from California to Colorado this past June. I was born and raised in Southern California and had never lived in another state. My entire life had been built there. The idea of leaving, and all that I would be leaving, was quite overwhelming.
At the top of the list was the fact that we would leave our church family. This was the church we had found as newlyweds, a small unassuming Presbyterian congregation that became a huge part of our identity and support system. There were maybe 50 attendees at the church on the first Sunday we attended over thirteen years ago. We watched it grow and flourish over the years and took part in its growing pains, joys, and trials.
It’s extremely difficult to say good-bye to your church family because of a move.
This church ended up being the place that was exactly what we didn’t know we needed. We were accepted as family and were able to grow and learn about God, church community, and ourselves. We were blessed by the gifts and service of others and in return were blessed with the opportunity to serve and cultivate gifts of our own. We became parents and absorbed as much as we could about how to raise a little one in the fear and admonition of the Lord. This was the church we attended for our weekly dose of truth and grace, the church where we were shown how hospitality, forgiveness and the gospel intersected with everyday life. And this was the church to which we were saying good-bye.
As you can imagine, it has been one of the most difficult aspects of our move. The idea of replacing something you hold so dear and a community you helped shape is nearly impossible. During the first months after we arrived in Colorado, it seemed even more difficult. After each new church we would attend, my husband and I would discuss the pros and cons. We’d go through the laundry list of what we liked and what we didn’t like. There were smiling faces and happy people, but the sense of connection wasn’t there. I’d repeat the story of our lives condensed down to sixty seconds again and again. You don’t realize how much comfort the familiar provides, until you are surrounded by the unfamiliar.
Finding a new church can be even more difficult.
Over time, this can lead to a critical spirit. I longed for the days when I would wake up on Sunday morning, go to a church that felt like family, and hear a sermon that spoke to my heart and fed me. That was what I was used to, and that was what I wanted. I began to wake up on Sundays discouraged, and that discouragement grew into irritation and anger. It got to the point that I didn’t really want to go to church at all. What was so wrong with staying home and listening to my former pastor’s sermons on Sermon Audio? I was still hearing God’s word, right?
It is scary to think of how pervasive Satan and his lies are. He is waiting and always ready to catch us in a moment of vulnerability. He begs us, time and time again, to believe the original lie he hissed in the garden so long ago—that we know better than God. That we can live independently of him. What began as a sincere desire to find a church that was right for our family turned into a critical spirit and entitled heart. I was so angry that I wasn’t getting the Sunday morning experience I had grown accustomed to having, that it totally inhibited my ability to worship at all. In the midst of my discouragement, I had to remind myself of what I was doing when I went to church. Was it just to receive? Just to take? Or was there more being asked of me?
Attending church is a specific way in which we are called to worship our Lord.
Attending church and hearing God’s word preached is the way in which he speaks to us today. It is something we are called to do out of obedience, and it is also a specific way in which we are called to worship him. God has set aside one day of the week for us to gather together as his body to hear the word preached, receive the sacraments of baptism and the Lord’s supper, pray together, and sing God’s praises. When you are committed to a body of believers, not only do you gain from that community, but you also give of yourself just by being there. And that strengthens the body of Christ.
Just because my Sunday morning service wasn’t wrapped up in a bow the way I preferred didn’t mean attendance was optional. That’s what I have realized about obedience: it is a blessing when we can obey joyfully; but even when we can’t, we are still called to obedience and then the joy often follows.
It took me a few weeks, but after my adult tantrum passed and I realized and confessed the sin that had crept into my heart--there was a peace that followed.
Even when we can’t obey joyfully, we are still called to obedience.
This prolonged season of “church shopping” has placed me in a position I typically avoid at all costs—one of waiting. Being impatient by nature, I’m one of those people who would rather do anything but wait. Is there something to be done? Okay, well let’s make a list and execute! I’d rather frantically scurry around making myself busy than sit and wait. And yet, God has put me in a place where there is nothing I can do but wait on him.
“Be still and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10). I’ve always liked the sound of that verse but felt that it’s never really pertained to me. Being still just isn’t my thing. And now God, in his goodness, has allowed me to see how it does pertain to me. In my stillness, in my uncomfortable and unfamiliar environment, he has allowed me to see that he is God, that he is in control of all things.
God allows circumstances in our lives that will produce growth and maturity.
Although I feel like our family is in limbo in many ways, I remind myself that it isn’t the case. I remind myself that we live by faith, not by sight. Even though at times it feels like we are suspended in midair, floating through life and waiting for things to take root, it isn’t so. We are firmly planted in the hands of the One who created and sustains all things—the One who knows, far better than I or my husband, what is best for our family; the One who allows circumstances in our lives that will produce growth and maturity. So we wait. And we wait.
Do I still miss my former church? Of course. But I have begun to see a work God is doing here, in Colorado, and in my heart. Dear friends, when life’s circumstances force you into the unfamiliar and God seems anywhere but near, seek your Savior and wait for his promised rescue.
Editor’s Note: The Chase family’s search ended happily this past Sunday when they joined a loving church in Colorado.
Related Articles:
The Vital Connection between Sincere Love and Hospitality in the Church
Your Online Pastor Doesn’t Love You the Way Your Local Pastor Does
Recommended:
Why Should I Join a Church? (Crucial Questions) by R. C. Sproul
This article was originally published on September 22, 2020.
