Trusting in the Lord as You Await the Arrival of Your Little One
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My sister-in-law just had her first baby, and it made me think about what a life-changing event having your first child is. There is something about the unknown that first time around—the excitement, curiosity, and sheer terror. I found myself asking questions such as: So, what does “the worst pain of your life” actually feel like? Will my body ever go back to the way it was before? Will I need to have a cesarean section? And those were just questions about me!
There are also the millions of questions that cross your mind about the safety of your baby. Anticipating going into labor is one of those acute times in a Christian woman’s life when she is utterly aware of how little is in her control. It is a great opportunity to rest in God’s strength, wisdom, timing, and mercy. There is much “forced” waiting—something that I am not very good at doing.
The nine months that I waited to meet each of my three children were seasons in my life when I most fervently prayed. These moments in life when we are driven to take our eyes off of ourselves and look to God who is the giver and sustainer of life are truly gifts:
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. (Ps. 139:13)
“Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:7)
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. (Prov. 19:21)
What awe-inspiring verses. The God of the universe, the Alpha and Omega, Yahweh himself, takes care to knit each and every one of us together in the womb of our mothers. The same God who created the entire universe by his spoken words designed and formed each of us in his own image.
Despite my earnest prayers, of the three labor and deliveries I experienced, only one went “according to plan.” The other two were literally the opposite of my birthing plan. Being a Type-A person, it’s safe to say this was not the way I would have ordered it off of a menu, although it reminded me of the truth that I control very little and that our sovereign God always governs everything.
Having a child—with the corresponding innate desire to fiercely protect them—puts this truth at the forefront for us. It should drive us to our knees and lead us to pray for God’s tender mercy and grace. And it should remind us that God often answers prayers through means—the means of other’s experience, wisdom, and teaching what is good (Titus 2:3). With that in mind, here is some guidance that may be beneficial while you anticipate the arrival of your bundle of joy.
Educate yourself.
Put in the time to educate yourself about your pregnancy and the birthing process. This can mean anything from home study to birthing classes. Those of us who are very fortunate to live in a country with access to wonderful medical care should not use that as a license to “check out.” There is so much good information at our fingertips about the changes to expect in your body as well as the process that will unfold at the hospital/birthing center or in your home.
I had so many questions and hesitations about what to expect, as well as the hundreds of small and large decisions my husband and I needed to make along the way. I found the better informed I was about what to expect, the less fear I had. This was a game-changer for me.
Create a birthing plan.
Now it’s time to put all of that wonderful knowledge you’ve just acquired to work. My husband and I enjoyed creating an optimum birthing plan together with interventions we would accept, as well as backup plans should things go off-course. This was a wonderful time of bonding and a very tangible way in which my husband could be involved and invested in this very big life event.
Consider a doula.
This is one thing I wish I would have considered for my first birth, but I didn't until my third. Not a single woman I have ever spoken with about their birth experience has ever expressed regret about having a doula. A doula is a trained professional who provides continual physical, emotional, and informational support to a mother before, during, and shortly after childbirth to help her achieve the healthiest, most satisfying experience possible. They often work alongside with midwives, but not always. They are frequently associated with “natural childbirth,” but they are not limited to that sphere.
Having someone on your team who is emotionally neutral (not a family member), someone who has seen and been a part of hundreds of births and is familiar with your specific desires is invaluable. My initial concern was that she would almost be a “third wheel” in relation to my husband and me, but it was the exact opposite. My babies were born in hospitals, not at home or in birthing centers; our doula served as our advocate, often being the “go-between” with us and the hospital staff.
My husband was actually the most thankful, as she did many helpful minor tasks for both of us, offering water, background music, and massages, so that my husband could be by my side the entire time. Having a doula may be something worth considering.
Approach this major life event in humility.
The most important and easily forgotten piece of advice I leave for the end. Remind yourself that just like any other day, God is in control of the little and the big things. Arm yourself with knowledge and preparedness, create your ideal plan for how you envision the birth day of your little one to unfold, and then cover that day and your little one with prayer.
Our job is to educate ourselves, make the best decisions possible, all while submitting to the Lord and his providence. For me, this is always the hardest part. The waiting. “Be still, and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10).
I have heard the “confessions” of many friends who were hard on themselves because the day didn’t go as planned. They felt guilty because they “caved” and accepted an epidural or because their fantasy birth experience didn’t unfold the way they had envisioned. We need to remind ourselves that being prepared and making plans does not ensure the outcome.
Enjoy this sweet and fleeting time as you prepare to welcome your little one.
Our plans allow us to feel empowered and make better decisions along the way, but the ultimate outcome is always in the hands of our ever-loving and vigilant Heavenly Father who never sleeps. He is the one who works all things out for our ultimate good, if only we have the eyes of faith to see it.
May you enjoy this sweet and fleeting time as you prepare to welcome your little one. My hope is that the day is what you planned for and if not, that you continue to rest in the wisdom and grace of your Father in heaven.
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